Ridiculous in the City

1. It is a holiday largely celebrated by drinking. March 17th is the feast day of St. Patrick, Patron saint of Ireland. March 17th is also the middle day of spring and St. Patrick himself promised better weather from that day forward. Taking their cue from him, the farmers would busy themselves planting the potato crop in the days before so as to be ready for maximum merriment when the feast day arrived. St. Patrick’s Day came to represent a break from the self-denials of Lent, a day when all fasting and holding back was thrown out the window. When mass was over the men headed to the pub to drink “Pota Pádraig,” Patrick’s Cup, before heading home to feast on what we can safely assume was something that included potatoes. The celebrating continued into the evening when, at last, the shamrock you’d been wearing that day was placed in the bottom of your last drink and a prayer was said as it was thrown over your left shoulder.

Flying whiskey-soaked shamrocks, always a threat.

These days, we would be lucky to get a prayer anywhere near the severe inebriation that takes place on St. Patrick’s Day. Here in New York City, people are decked out in their best green finery during the morning commute and the evidence of what came next liters the sidewalks the next morning. Lunchtime is a maze of people spilling out of local bars, as if it is their duty to St. Patrick to take part in a midday booze fest. Of course, with the parade blocking off half the city, what are they to do but sit and drink? Read maybe? At one time, bars in Ireland were actually closed in honor of St. Patrick, but with modern society focused on making money, beer companies and commercial enterprises alike saw fit to market the hell out of St. Patrick’s Day and thus, a drinking holiday was born.

2. “Erin go Braless.” Erin go Bragh is a fine Irish phrase meaning, “Ireland Forever.” Dating back to the mid 1800s, Erin go Bragh has been used by groups of citizens, political parties, unions and sports teams to pledge their true allegiance to Ireland.

Like Irish Friday Night Lights, only better.

And like any epic phrase, it comes as no surprise that the more ridiculous of us have ripped it off into something absurd and a little risqué. There was no credible information available on the origin of “Erin go Braless,” but one need only visualize a braless, drunken reveler, possibly clad in an Erin go Braless t-shirt, to absorb the full weight of why this bastardization is so totally ridiculous. However, considering that roughly eighty percent of women are wearing the wrong bra size, perhaps we should just give up altogether.

3. Gang green. The tradition of decking yourself out in green on St. Patrick’s Day is said to originate from St. Patrick’s love of shamrocks. Prevalent in Ireland, he often referred to their representation of the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit—or, in Ridiculous in the City Terms: Tina Turner, George Michael and Barack Obama. Tina, George, Barry and Oprah if it’s a four-leaf clover. Because of this, the Irish began wearing shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day, representing him with a little bit of green. The tradition grew into what can now be referred to as green fever, with everyone and their mom sporting green on March 17th, not just the Irish among us.

Hats, clothing, fake green beards, crowns, green Mardi Gras beads; green fever effectively takes over the city on this fair day and it is nothing if not ridiculous. But then, St. Patrick’s Day is for celebrating and I suspect St. Patrick, a man who was enslaved until his twenties, would want us to accept the enthusiasm and dedication these green wearers put out into the universe.

Yes, “Accept gang green, lose the bra, have a few drinks and eat a potato, my child,” he would say. Because tomorrow it’s back to the austerity measures of Lent for all of us. That’s why you’re celebrating right?