Upton Wallace

“Irrational Pigeons.”

“No.”

“Insomniac Pariah.”

“NO.”

“Deaf Lemons.”

“Dude, it doesn’t have to be two words.”

“Okay, The Deaf Lemons.”

“It’s too much like Blind Melon. And it’s really stupid.”

“So’s your face.”

“We need a kick ass name. A name that says, ‘We kick ass.’ Nothing about The Deaf Lemons is kick ass.”

“Meat.”

“Meat?”

“Yeah, Meat. That’s kicks ass.”

“Isn’t there already a band called Meat?”

“Probably, it kicks ass… But I thought we were going for more of like a subtly cool name. Not hipster, but like, cool.”

“Nothing fucking hipster.”

“What about Upton Wallace?”

“Who’s Upton Wallace?

“Exactly. Who’s Upton Wallace? Who is Upton Wallace? It’s genius dude.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Ulysses took a drink from his beer bottle and sat back, staring at Mitchell. This was ridiculous. They’d wasted all afternoon on this and he had to be uptown by 6 o’clock.

“Dude, how about Shut The Fuck Up? That kicks ass.”